Yesterday the SEGA Saturn, SEGA’s unloved middle child, reached the ripe old console age of twenty. In order to celebrate the anniversary of the console that gave us NiGHTS, Panzer Dragoon and a host of other gems we’ve trawled through our archive to bring you a host of videos.
We start off though with the adventures of the man that symbolised the SEGA Saturn in Japan – the warrior of righteousness that was Segata Sanshiro! His first appearances were less than friendly however, leading what appeared to be a one man crusade to victimise people not playing the Saturn and terrorising children by dressing as Santa Claus then PEELING OFF HIS FACE.
For instance, playing real sports? Segata Sanshiro has no time for your bullshit. He’ll cripple you for such crimes as not playing Sonic R. “Can you feel the sunshine?” “No, I’m in unimaginable paiiiin.” “Ooh. Sorry bro.”
He’ll fight you honourably too, but you’ve no chance. This poor fellow who dared to just ends up thrown, I assume for an Ippon victory – if this is Judo rules, and exploding in a column of flame. All to promote Bomberman Fight. He took no prisoners at all.
But how did Segata Sanshiro succeed? This advert for the Saturn itself showed his workout routine which involved running around with a giant white Saturn on his back and using the giant controller as a punchbag. All to the tune of his own theme song!
How strong is Segata Sanshiro? well he headbuts a SEGA Saturn through over ten roof slates. What this has got to do with Solo Crisis I do not know…
Curiously, he had no problem with he himself playing baseball. Which is a bit of a double standard when you consider those three kids he beat up on the Sonic R video. However for Greatest Nine ’98 Sanshiro shows great strength and dexterity in the face of great speeding balls.
In the advert for Sakura Taisen II (Sakura Wars 2) however a new side emerged. A tender loving Segata Sanshiro who was absolutely head over heels in love with SEGA character Sakura – and it looked as though it was mutual!
We never found out what happened next, what potential scandal may have unfolded, as soon Sanshiro’s mind was back on sport. Nippon Daihyou Team no Kantoku Ninarou! Sekaihatsu Soccer RPG‘s showed he was a master tactician – albeit a somewhat unorthodox one.
Shining Force III took him back out into the world to hunt down the sinners not gaming. Oblitterating an entire nightclub’s clientele for their crimes.
He’s also good at interpretive dance, as seen for Panzer Dragoon saga.
And for Burning Rangers was revealed as Japan’s all-purpose fourth emergency service.
He’s also tough enough to sprint over ice barefoot for Winter Heat – and fast enought to out run a speed skater!
That’s not to say he’s unbeatable. The zombies of House of The Dead proved a formidable challenge we… assume that he survived this with merely his hair ruffled.
Deep Fear was a game about suspense and fear, so Segata Sanshiro sliced up a fish. Errr, okay.
Wachenröder is a steampunk RPG for the SEGA Saturn that few of you have probably heard of, but none the less is it seems Segata Sanshiro is very much the stats man.
Back to football and World Cup ’98 France, and he was finally called out for his tactics – or cheating as the ref called it
A return to baseball again with Baseball Team Tsukuro revealed that had those kids had just invited him to play with them he’d’ve probably burst into tears. Clearly he just wanted to be baseball star growing up and idolised the current generation.
Dragon Force II unleashed an army of mini clones on the world. We’re surprised he isn’t still king of it currently.
Ultimately a company which totally wasn’t Sony decided the only way to stop SEGA was to murder everyone at SEGA Japan with a rocket and the hero known as Segata Sanshiro sacrificed his own life in order to protect the company and product he loved.
What other advertising mascot has been been both KILLED OFF and given a tribute video game? None. That’s what.
Segata Sanshiro succeeded in his role of getting people to play SEGA Saturn, and through him and his exploits the SEGA Saturn will never die.